Screen Time...How Much Should Kids Have?


When I was a kid, they introduced an amazing video game called Pong. It consisted of a paddle(s) and a ball.  I spent hours each week playing that game. But it was basically my only screen option, with television being the other option.

Today's kids seemingly have unlimited options when it comes to screen time. 24/7 television with several channels dedicated to children only programming.  Smart phones.  Playstations.  Wii's.  Xbox.  Computer games.  iPads.  Tablets.  Game apps.  

You will often see kids involved in screen time no matter the time or place.  Many parents have found that screen time makes a great "babysitter" when they need to keep their children occupied.

So the question arises when it comes to screen time...how much is enough? 

Steve Jobs, the former CEO of Apple, didn't allow his own children to have iPads when they were first introduced. He also restricted his children's acces to other technology as well. 

Screen time often gets a bad rap. It has been blamed for depression and behavioral issues.

But there are others who disagree.  A movement called Smartphone Free Childhood says 150,000 people have signed its pact to ban smartphones for children below the age of 14, and delay social media access until the age of 16.

Jean Twenge, a professor of psychology from San Diego State University, believes separating children and screens is a no-brainer, and is urging parents to keep children and smartphones apart for as long as possible. One study found that higher social media use causes girls to have higher feelings of depression. 

Screen time can certainly be addictive. Don't think so?  Try taking away a child's handheld video game or smart phone.  They will freak out. Want to have a family meeting? Turn off the wifi at your house. The kids will come running to you.

The truth is...this can be said of adults as well.  Personally, I can attest to this.  If I can't find my smart phone, I get anxiety.  If the internet goes down, I am visibly upset.  I carry my smart phone every where I go and check it throughout the day.  It lays by my head when I am sleeping.  It is crucial to my job and connectivity to the world. 

The truth is...most of you reading this would have to say the same thing. 

Some take a hard line stance on this issue when it comes to kids. The world health organization suggests no screen time for children below the age of one, and no more than one hour per day for kids 4 and under. Good luck with that.  

Each person must weight the evidence on both sides and come up with a clear decision and guidelines for their children's screen time access.

10 Things Parents Want in a Children's Ministry

If you want to reach people and see your church grow, then children's and family ministry must be a top priority. 

The church where I serve as children and family pastor has an outdoor playground area. We are also in the middle of a large housing community.

As I was leaving the church last week, I saw a family playing on our outdoor playground.  I didn't recognize them, so I went down to introduce myself and invite them to come to church on Sunday.  We were having a family fun day after services with bounce houses, free hot dogs, pickleball, etc. so it looked like a great invite opportunity. 

I talked with them and found out they live just a few blocks from our church. I invited them to come on Sunday and told them about the fun things that would be happening after services. The kids immediately got excited and started asking their parents to bring them.  

Long story short, they ended up coming on Sunday for the family activities. Why did these parents show up with their kids? What were they looking for? What brought them in the door?  They came for the first time because of some of the reasons listed below. 

Let's take a look at the ten things parents are looking for in a children's ministry.

Partnership.  

Parents are looking for someone to come alongside them and partner with them to see their children grow up to love Jesus.  One way you can do this is to send home a weekly take home paper with discussion questions. You can also text parents with discussion questions. This can prove to be very effective. 98% of text messages get read.

Parents want to be heard.

Parents want to be able to ask questions, share ideas, and voice concerns.

One way you can do this is through parent focus groups. This involves bringing in a group of 8-10 parents and asking for their input and ideas. You can read more about focus groups and see what questions to ask in this previous article I wrote.  

Bible memory.

Parents want their children to memorize scripture.  Make sure kids are memorizing Bible verses on a consistent basis.  

Parents want their children to enjoy coming to church. 

Parents will get frustrated if they have to drag their children to church.  Work hard to make church a fun, engaging experience for children. If the kids in your ministry say church is "boring," you will have a difficult time keeping families.

When parents ask their children the most asked question in the history of children's ministry...

"Did you have fun today?" 

You want the answer to be a resounding "Yes."

Encouragement.

If you are a parent, you know that parenting is no easy challenge. Parents get tired and frustrated at times.  They are looking for someone who will encourage them and let them know they will survive parenthood. 

Make sure when you connect with parents, that it's not just about asking them to serve. 

Parenting help.  

I offer parent seminars twice a year. Parents are looking for parenting principles and insight.

Good communication.

Makes sure you communicate with parents on a consistent basis. I have a parent email that I send out at least twice a month. A parent Facebook page and Instagram page is also a great way to communicate. 

Safety and security

Parents want to know that their children are safe in your care. Have safety and security plans in place.  Make sure every volunteer has been background checked and interviewed.  Know what to do in case of a missing child or an emergency evacuation.  Communicate these plans to parents.  First-time guests especially need to know about your check-in and check-out plan.

Clear next steps. 

What step should parents take when their children are asking about entering a relationship with Jesus? What step should parents take when their child is asking about baptism?  What step should parents take to get their child in a small group?  

I use a Salvation Class and a Baptism Class to help parents with these next steps. You can get more info. about this at these links. 

Starting Line Class

Baptism Class

These classes have helped thousands of families take these next steps.  Using these classes, I saw over 430 children and many parents follow Jesus in baptism in one year.  Check them out for your church.

Discipleship.

Parents want to see their children growing in their faith.  Provide clear strategies to see kids be discipled. 

Connect 12 curriculum helps kids grow in 12 key areas of the faith.  You can get more information at this link.

I have also recently written a 30 day discipleship journey for kids that takes them through key discipleship topics and need-to-knows.  This tool is a great way to disciple children after they invite Jesus into their life. You can get more information here

Bring these 10 things into your children's ministry and you will see your ministry reach and minister to parents.  

"Be Our Church Guest" Podcast Interview

Earlier this year,  I had the honor of ministering at Champion Forest Church in the Houston area. 

I have admired this church from a distance for years. I was so excited to see their ministry in action. They have a large, incredible, growing children's ministry.

While there, I did a podcast with Stephanie Chase (lead children's director) and Stephanie Rogers. 
 
We had a conversation about guest services and how to help new families feel welcomed and at home. 
 
I recently wrote a book called "Be Our Church Guest...Pursuing Excellence in Church Guest Services." Stephanie purchased this book for her entire guest services team. You can get your copy at this link.  
 
Here is the podcast conversation. 

Servant Leadership

Last week at a conference, I shared a talk called "Servant Leadership."

I wanted to share the outline with you. 

More than ever, we need leaders who will make a difference in their generation. 

Especially Gen Z (currently ages 13 to 28).

34% of Gen Z has no religious affiliation.

18% of Gen Z claims to be agnostic or atheist.

If we are going to reach the next generation, it will be through servant leaders. 

In Philippians 2, God tells us what makes a servant leader. 

"Therefore if you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from His love, if any common sharing in the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and of one mind.

Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit.  Rather, in humility value others about yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others. 

In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus: Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage; rather, he made himself nothing by taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness.

And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to death - even death on a cross! 

Therefore God exalted him to the highest place and gave him the name that is above every name that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth and every tongue acknowledge that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father."   

In this passage, we see 3 keys to being a servant leader.

AMBITION 

It is not wrong to have ambition. Notice that the verse says "selfish" ambition. In fact, we need people who will have a holy ambition to reach their generation. We need people who will have an ambition to reach the world for Christ. 

It's not about getting rid of ambition. It's about having an ambition to bring glory to God's name and advance His kingdom. 

God called Gideon to make a difference.  He called him a "mighty man of valor" when, at the time, he was far from being a man of valor.  God instilled in Gideon an ambition to make a difference and be used by God. 

What servant leaders need is Godfidence. An ambition that trusts God to do what they cannot do on their own. 

Joseph had ambition. He told his brothers they would bow to him. They weren't happy about that for sure. But that was okay. It was a deceleration that came from God and transcended Joseph's own abilities. 

Jeremiah is another example of ambition that was birthed by God. 

"But His Word was in my heart like a burning fire shut up in my bones; and I was weary with forbearing, and I could not stay."

This is clearly ambition from God and His Word. 

David had ambition. While others shook with fear in the shadow of Goliath, David declared "Is there not a cause?"  It took ambition to stand on the battlefield when the odds appeared to be stacked against him.

Eric Liddle is another example of ambition. Eric was a Scottish runner in the 1924 Olympics.  He had trained to run the 100 meter race. When they announced the 100 meter race would be held on Sunday, Eric took himself out of the race. He had made a promise that he would not run on a Sunday...a day he had preserved to worship God. 

Instead of running the 100 meter race on Sunday, he decided to compete in the 400 meter race. He had not trained for the 400 meter race and stood little to no chance to win. But he had ambition. He had vowed to run for God's glory.  He won the 400 meter race, winning the gold medal and setting a world record. After the Olympics, he spent the rest of his life doing missionary work in China.  That, my friend, is ambition.

We need servant leaders who have an ambition to bring glory to God.

Secondly, servant leaders have the right ATTITUDE

Look back at the verses. It says...

"...he made himself nothing by taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. And being found in appearance as a man, he HUMBLED himself by becoming obedient to death...even the death on a cross."

Jesus' life was all about serving others.  Matthew 20:28 says this...

"Jesus came to SERVE and to GIVE..."

Serve and give...those two words sum up what Jesus' life was all about. 

Servant leaders care not about how many people are serving them...rather they care about how many people they are serving.

The way up in God's kingdom is down.  Jesus must increase while we decrease. 

When we get to heaven, God is not going to say "Well done, good and faithful leader." 

Rather He will say, "Well done, good and faithful SERVANT."

The third mark of a servant leader is ACTION. 

Look at Luke 22. 

"Jesus went out as usual to the Mount of Olives, and his disciples followed him. On reaching the place, he said to them, "Pray that you will not fall into temptation. He withdrew about a stone's throw beyond them, knelt down and prayed, 'Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but yours be done'." 

Servant leaders follow Jesus' lead and take an action of surrender to God's will.

Servant leaders die to their dreams and plans and follow Jesus' plans.

George Muller, a great man of God, was once asked what he considered to be the power behind his ministry. He surprised his questioner by talking about his "secret death." 

"There was a day," he said, "when I died; utterly died." As he spoke, he bent lower until he almost touched the floor. Then he continued, "I died to George Muller, his opinions, preferences, tastes and will; died to the world, its approval or censure; died to the approval or blame even of my brethren and friends; and since then I have studied myself approved of God."  

Servant leaders take an action of total surrender. They say, "Here am I Lord, send me."

In war, soldiers raise their hands when they are surrendering. When the police arrest someone, they person raises their hands in surrender. 

Go with me to the upper room. Jesus and the disciples arrive at the upper room...but someone is missing. There should have been a servant there who would wash their feet. But there was no one present that was officially assigned that task.  This position was considered one of the lowest jobs in the area. The disciples looked at each other, but no one was willing to be that servant and wash the dirty (and probably smelly) feet of the disciples. 

That's when Jesus took action. He took the form of the lowest servant and washed the disciples' feet.  He modeled true servant leadership.  This was in stark contrast to what the disciples would describe as leadership. They were living in a time when the "leaders" were the Romans. Rome's style of leadership was to kill, defeat, conquer and reign over people.  Jesus showed that true leadership is serving others as a humble servant.

Have you heard of Don Ritchie? He is a great example of a servant leader. Don lived across the road from a place called "The Gap" (no - not the store) in Australia. The Gap is a well-known cliff area. It is infamous for being a place where people go to commit suicide. Don could see the cliff from his house. After seeing several people jump to their death, Don decided he would step in and offer hope to the desperate people who came there to commit suicide. 

Don kept watch and when he saw someone getting close to the edge of the cliff, he would rush over and talk the person back away from the edge of the cliff. He would then bring them to his house and sit down for a meal with them. He would talk with them - offering them hope and encouragement. At his funeral, 150 people stood up and said Don had saved their life.  Reports say that the total number of people that Don rescued was over 600.   

More than ever, we need people who will answer God's call to lead with ambition, attitude and action. 

Will you be that person? 

Will you respond to Jesus by surrendering your will for His?   

Will you say, "All to Jesus...I surrender...all to Him I freely give."